- Dear Giver,
By the time you read this letter, I will probably be far away on my way to elsewhere. I apologize not for informing you about the change of plans, but once you read my explanations I know you will understand me. I honestly had no time. After returning to my dwelling and while having my evening meal, my father announced that he was going to release Gabriel the following day. Turns out that while I was gone they decided that they should try putting Gabriel back in the Nurturing Center. According to my father it seems that he caused an enormous amount of trouble, and even my father had voted to let go of Gabriel. Now there is something that I have been hiding from you all these weeks. One night I was trying to get Gabriel to go to sleep. I put my hand on his back, and I had transferred the memory of the sail ride to him. Please believe me, I had done it unintentionally. I didn't even know I was doing it at first. So night after night I gave Gabriel some of my memories. I am truly very sorry if you think this act was inappropriate, but I just felt something with him. I know you'll understand because you and I are the only ones with true feelings. I felt some kind of a bond with him, although he was just a baby. So I knew that I couldn't let Gabriel get released. First of all because Gabriel is very special to me, and also because if Gabriel got released his memories would be returned to the community, and although I only gave him pleasant memories I knew that I would have to face consequences for sharing my memories. This is why I had to leave the community immediately without contacting you. Now, I just want to thank you for making me the person I am today.
Just an year ago, I was just like any other child in the community, not aware of anything outside of our community or the things that we were missing out on. Once in a while I noticed that something had changed but I did not understand how it did or why. Like that time when I was playing catch with an apple with Asher. While the apple was in the air it had changed. I took it home in curiosity but I had not been able to figure what it was that I saw. Just a little less than an year ago, I was chosen as the Receiver of Memory, and the whole community had congratulated me. But that one thing that caught my ear was what the Chief Elder had said. She said that I would experience a kind of pain I've never knew of before. During the past year you have taught me the true meaning of life that used to exist, and the kind of life that could exist in Elsewhere. I also learned how blind our community was, almost literally. Although I will never be sure of this, I think you could have just given memories but you have given me more than just the memories. You gave me a sense of a real family. When you gave me your favorite memory, the memory of love, I had really liked it as well. After receiving that memory I felt as if you were my real family. It was really nice to know that I had someone like you beside me, but the memory of love also taught something else. That night, after receiving the memory of love, I asked my parents if they loved me. They said that I had used the wrong word, and that the word love meant nothing. I learned how heartless the people in our community is, and how every single individual is so apart. What enabled me to live through my days was you and Gabriel. You had always been there for me to help me, and the only regret I am having right now is that I can't be there for you.
It just seems like yesterday when I witnessed the video of the release and I determined how evil the community was. All those months of learning about true pain and pleasure never did I question what happened to those who were released. That day I thought myself stupid for not being after to figure out that to be released was to be killed. Not only was I shocked of how dishonest and cruel the Elders were to kill people and pretend as if it was a happy ceremony, it had startled me greatly to know that my own father had lied to me as well. Of course there was that time where I read my instructions as the Receiver of Memory and wondered if in every person's instructions it said 'You may lie', but I never suspected my father as one of those liars. But now that I look back at it my father has no truly feelings for me since he does not have any feelings at all, and I guess it would have not been a big deal for him to lie to us. It doesn't seem so surprising now, but I see why I was so stunned that my father had murdered someone; it confirmed that probably countless people in our community is not as innocent or honest as they look like, and in addition, my father had felt no guilt in killing the twin. After turning numb because of my father's true self and his mask, you had been there to calm me down, and even better you had created the grand plan that would have really saved our community from those liars who simply know nothing.
I genuinely believed that your plan would work. I did have some doubts since it was a very risky job and I would have to break a dozen rules, but I tried to be optimistic and I never thought it would turn out this way. I do know for sure that you won't blame me for anything, but the thought that I am not capable of paying you the same treatment and respect is the only thing that makes me hesitate. You haven't been able to give me the memories of courage but I know that I can make it to Elsewhere because you have trained me so well not exactly for this particular assignment, but I know what you have given and taught me is more than enough for me to make it to Elsewhere. During the short time I have known you I have learned the true meaning of life. I wish you could be here with me so that you can also live the life you have only seen in your memories, but now it's too late for second thoughts. Once again I apologize for leaving you in the middle of this chaos with the Receiver and the infant-to-be-released missing. Now I am off trying to find the better life in Elsewhere where color, love, and all the pleasant things still remain. I just wish you the best and I hope that you can fulfill your dreams of meeting Rosemary once again.
Sincerely,
Jonas
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